What kinds of comments do teachers/professors write that require students to revise their work?
*Discussion will be about the article "How to Guide: Argument Writing"
Codes:
-Student text: This text is present on the left side of the page. The background color of the student text is white as opposed to the right portion/margin of the page that is shaded grey.
-Highlighted text: Throughout this article there are highlighted words that are linked to one of the teacher's/professor's comment boxes. There are two instances where the teacher/professor highlights a word or words. First, the teacher/professor may highlight a word or words contained within a sentence. Second, the teacher/professor may also highlight the last word of a paragraph.
-Right portion/margin: The right margin of this article is shaded grey and contains multiple comment boxes.
-Comment Box: Annotations within the margin. These boxes were placed there by the teacher/professor.
Categories:
-Comment Boxes: There are nine comment boxes that are almost identical to one another. They contain a heading, title, and text. In the article "How to Guide: Argument Writing" the comment boxes are titled with "Mark's Laptop" and the date and time in which the comment was created. The headings for each comment box begin with the word "Comment" then a number. That number found next to the word "Comment" increases as the boxes continue down the right margin of the page. After each heading, the teacher/professor had written his/her followup comment(s). There is text found in every box.
-Highlighted text: The shaded areas found within the student's writing, which usually contains one or a few words.
Patterns:
-Highlighted text linked with Comment Boxes: All of the highlighted text found within the student's essay is grouped with one of the comment boxes found within the margin.
Example: From "How to Guide: Argument Writing":
Highlighted text-->James A. Herrick Comment box 3: "Herrick's textbook..." When the teacher/professor highlights a word or group of words found in the middle of a sentence, he/she is talking specifically about the idea.
Highlighted text-->college (last word in the paragraph) Comment box 2: "Except for the part I marked above, this overview works well. " Focus is not on that particular word, but the whole paragraph.
Language:
1)Teacher/Professor comments:
The comments by the teacher/professor are written in first person and have a casual tone.
First person:
From "How to Guide: Argument Writing": Comment 1--> "I like...here. This feels tacked on to me...transition." "I like..." and "[t]his feels tacked on to me..." refers to the first person (i.e. teacher/professor).
Casual tone:
"I like...", "Nice..." and "I wonder..." are all examples of casual talk.
From "How to Guide: Argument Writing":
Comment [1]: "I like the opening hook up to here. This bit feels tacked on to me, as well as throwing off a natural transition."= [statement].
Comment [5]: "These points are clear. I wonder, though, if this might be a place to play off students' definitions of argument. How do these views contradict or enrich their expectations of what an argument should be?"= [statement]+[question]
*However, these statements and questions can be broken down further.
Statements=criticism (subjective statement by the teacher/professor), constructive criticism (teacher/professor praises a portion of the text, then offers his/her point of view on the matter), positive criticism (praise), advice (what the teacher/professor thinks would be better).
From "How to Guide: Argument Writing":
Comment [4]: "I'm not sure I see how these definitions inform your overview."= criticism
Comment [8]: "The basic ideas of this paragraph are clear, but I feel they could be taken further."=constructive criticism
Comment [6]: "Nice choice of example."= positive criticism
Comment [3]: "One of the theorists Herrick discusses would be a stronger choice."= advice
Questions-->clarity (clear up the ambiguity), expansion (go further into detail), clarity+expansion (combination of clarity and expansion).
From "How to Guide: Argument Writing"
Comment [4]: "What's the underlying philosophy that's guiding your view of argument?"= clarity
Comment [7]: "Can you say more about how they fit together?"= expansion
Comment [9]: "Why is it important in this situation?"= clarity+expansion
Grouping the common language structures found in the comments.
1) Most of the comments are written in a statement+question format.
From "How to Guide: Argument Writing":
Comment [4]: "I'm not sure I see how these definitions inform your overview. The previous comment and this one both ask the same question: What's the underlying philosophy that's guiding your view of argument?"= [statement]criticism+[question]clarity
Comment [5]: "These points are clear. I wonder, though, if this might be a place to play off students' definitions of argument. How do these views contradict or enrich their expectations of what an argument should be?"= [statement]constructive criticism+[question]clarity+expansion
Comment [7]: "The logical connection between the sentences isn't clear to me. Can you say more about how they fit together?= [statement]criticism+[question]expansion
Comment [8]: "The basic...further. Why...argument? The bullets...ignore."= [statement]constructive criticism+[question]clarity+expansion+[statement]constructive criticism
Comment [9]: "Some...first. Why...situation?"=[statement]criticism+[question]clarity
2) The rest of the comments are written as statements.
Comment [1]: "I...here. This...transition."=[statement]constructive criticism+criticism
Comment [2]: "Except...well"=[statement]constructive criticism
Comment [3]: "Herrick's...here. One...choice."=[statement]constructive criticism+advice
Comment [6]: "Nice choice of example."=[statement]positive criticism
*Comment [6] seems to be the only comment that doesn't require the student to revise.
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